I never thought I’d be playing a Neptunia take on Mario Kart’s Battle Mode mixed with Katamari Damacy, but here we are. The latest oddball spinoff for the most oddball video game properties is Neptunia Riders Vs. Dogoos. It’s nuts. It’s also wonderful, and really good fun.
The story, such as it is, is this (and please do bear with me here): There’s an entirely different dimension that is conveniently removed from all the other Hyperdimension Neptunia storylines. In this world, you play as Uzume, who discovers that the world is absolutely packed with Dogoos. For reasons Neptunia and her other friends are under some kind of spell, and the only way to recover them is to hoon around on a motorcycle, collecting Dogoos, and to do that better than whoever she’s opposed to.
I am truly, honestly, not making this up. That is the concept of Neptunia Riders Vs. Dogoos. It’s so manically stupid that I can’t help but love it, but then I am deeply invested into the Neptunia series and more than happy to roll with those punches and embrace the stupid. I honestly can’t imagine who this game is for beyond a tiny niche of people like me.
But then again, my job isn’t to justify the commercial viability of a game. I’m here to analyse what I played. As I hope that I’ve made it clear already that I enjoyed Neptunia Riders Vs. Dogoos. A lot. The story is ridiculous and twee and everything that I expect from a Neptunia spinoff, filled with self-aware humour and all the parodies that you expect of the series.
Meanwhile, it plays very differently to any previous title featuring the characters. The Hyperdimension Neptunia series are JRPGs. Neptunia Riders Vs. Dogoos is a vehicle-based battle game. You and your opponents are vying to collect Dogoos – the slime-like common enemy of the series – by driving over them. As you do so, they collect behind your bike in a growing, swirling votrex of chaotic colour and slime-like shapes. The first one to reach the target number of Dogoos in a round wins. This is complicated by several factors. For example, you can get a massive boost to reaching the target quota by finding and then running over a box of Dogoos. Meanwhile, your efforts will suffer a setback if you pick up the wrong Dogoos – for example, a Dogoo that will slow you down… or at least will do so until you have the opportunity to hurl the negative Dogoo at an opponent. You’ll also run into enemies that can cause you to lose Dogoos, and you can directly attack your opponents, too.
Each battle takes place in Mario Kart battle-like arena that will offer some gimmicks and enemies, as well as your opponents. Getting around is fairly simple, with the main goal being to master the ability to powerslide for tight turns. That powersliding mechanic is annoyingly twitchy, but Neptunia Riders Vs. Dogoos isn’t overly concerned with precision and I never struggled to make my way through the game, even if never felt quite comfortable with the mechanics of that power slide.
There is a legitimate issue that the game is so short. I’m not usually one to criticse a game’s length, but there are only 15 or so levels that all utilise this basic structure, and each of those is over in 2-3 minutes. Even taking into account the fact that you’ll unlock some bonus characters and have some costumes and new bikes to earn, you’re looking at a couple of hours for the full experience. On the one hand, I do think that if the developers tried to expand the scope of the experience with more mechanics or gameplay quicks they’d probably undermine the simple, arcade-like joy that the game is clearly designed to offer. On the other hand, an experience that is over in a few hours is over in a few hours, and on a very simple level, I was enjoying myself so I wanted more. More characterisation. More humour. More levels. More fun nonsense.
Perhaps this wouldn’t have been an issue if there was a robust multiplayer mode. That is how Mario Kart Battle Mode is best enjoyed, after all. But there isn’t a multiplayer mode at all. Outside of the main story all that you’ve got to extend the longevity of Neptunia Riders Vs. Dogoos is the photo mode. And, sure, Nep Nep and all the other girls are cute and I like taking photos of them, but I would have really enjoyed testing my Nep skills against my buddies in this case instead.
Consequently, Neptunia Riders Vs. Dogoos is frustrating. For fans of the series, it’s fun and hits all the right notes. It’s just over way too quickly and the developers missed a real opportunity to make this a dynamite multiplayer experience. It’s also so totally reliant on appealing to existing fans that it’s going to completely fail to find a new audience for the broader Hyperdimension property. It could have been so much more for all audiences, but as it is will simply be a fun little spinoff while we continue to wait for the next big step forward for this delightful series and its characters.